"Whatever Happened to Chivalry?

Does it only exist in 80's movies?

-I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window.

-I want to ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey.

-I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me.

-I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist in the air because he know's he got me.

Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie

Preferably one with a really awesome musical number. . .

For no apparent reason."

Okay. In all honesty... It doesn't have to be an 80's movie. ANY movie will do. Movies are perfect. You know? The boy gets the girl, the girl gets her happy ending. All the problems and pain weren't for nothing. Everything works out in the end. Yeah- I want my life to be like a movie. Ha. Who doesn't?

Life Is a Maze

This song is my life. Not my life story- just my life at the moment. 

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle.

Life is a Maze and love is a riddle.

I don't know where to go. I can't do it alone- I've tried.

And I don't know why.

Slow it down. Make it stop.

Or else my heart is going to pop.

'Cause it's too much- yeah, it's a lot.

To be something I'm not.

I'm a fool, out of love.

'Cause I just can't get enough. 

[Chorus]

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle.

Life is a Maze and love is a riddle.

I don't know where to go can't do it alone- I've tried.

And I don't know why.

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment.

I'm so scared, but I don't show it.

I can't figure it out.

It's bringing me down- I know.

I've got to let it go.

And just enjoy the show. 

The sun is hot. In the sky. 

Just like a giant spotlight.

The people follow the sign, and synchronize in time.

It's a joke.

Nobody knows. 

They've got a ticket to that show.

Yeah.

[chorus 2x]

Just enjoy the show.

dum de dum dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show.

dum de dum dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show.

I want my money back. 

I want my money back.

I want my money back.

Just enjoy the show.

How 'Bout Unabashedly Bawling Your Eyes out?

So, I'm not a fan of crying. I look quite hideous when I do and I feel like my face is inside-out. Sure, I cry often. Sad movies, when I'm really happy, laugh really hard, or when my heart gets touched by something or someone. Ha, Hallmark commercials.  But these are teary-eyed, one single tear that I catch before it even leaves my eyelashes. Very rarely will I cry to a point where I can't talk. But I did that today... Haha Yup. I guess I am just a little emotionally unstable, but I can't really help it. I try, but it doesn't work. I don't remember the last time I was so full of emotion that I let go like that.

Trust me, if I could, I'd never cry- I'd always be happy.

I don't know how others are when they need to cry, but I prefer to do it alone. Somewhere people can't see me a total mess, see me unhappy, or get freaked out by how emotional I can actually get. But it really does feel great to have that shoulder to cry on. Especially when it's someone you'd thought you'd lost. It kinda gives you hope. Like, maybe, just maybe, things could go back to normal, and you won't have to adjust to a dramatic change. Maybe I'm not as alone as I thought. Thank you. I needed that.

I just need to learn to not keep things bottled up. Maybe I'm stronger than I thought. Hmmm... That's good to know :)

It's Still a New Year... Right??

I just want to say (on my first blog post this year) I'm sorry. If I ever did anything to upset or hurt you in any way, shape, or form, I sincerely apologize. Yup. I did some stupid things this year (mostly recently). I may have been rude- on purpose or unintentionally. I may have said horrible things. Or I may have just ignored you. Again if I did: I'm sorry... I know that I normally hate that word, and some of you that know me are thinking that I'm real hypocritical right now. But guess what?? I don't really care. Yeah, I may not want to start this year with conflict, but if you've already got a problem with that/me you don't have to be part of my life this year :) and I'm okay with that.

I'm going to be happy this year if it kills me. No more drama. No more being stupid. I'm going to start telling people what's up. Yes, that will probably make me 70 times more awkward. Haha Oh, well. If you like me you'll still be my friend anyways.

That's all. K, thanks. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :)