I'm a Mess and You Know That I Can't Help It

So it's safe to say that my letter to December didn't work too well. December wasn't good to me. In fact, I had one of the crappiest months of my life... and that says something.

I've realized that everyone I thought knew me, or that should know me... They don't know me at all. And I'm so over giving people chance after chance after chance just to keep getting hurt- getting let down. I used to be a good judge of character. I thought I could tell if someone was good for me. But apparently I'm getting more and more dumb. I'm not naive, I'm just stupid. I notice things, but I'll ignore the signs. I pretend that I didn't screw up by giving them another chance. Give them the benefit of the doubt. And, yeah, it's all my fault. I get that. It just makes it hard to give any second chances at all.

Do I still like him? I think so. But I don't know if anything can come out of that. Because every time I think about it I just get a headache and I feel sick to my stomach.

And this is only the tip of the ice burg. Trust me. I can be, but I'm not normally such a girl. The last two-ish weeks have just been building on me and building on me. I just have no idea how to calm down. Even my huge emotional breakdown only felt like the first wave. Sure, I'll get over it. But this one's going to take time. And I'm positive that me and my relationship with everyone involved will never be the same.

The thing that hurts the most is I really think I'm the only one upset about it. Everyone else couldn't careless. So, out the window goes a million opportunities. Out the window goes the last four years.

For the first time in my life, I'm looking back, and actually regretting things.

Now, I just need to find the people who I know will make me laugh so hard I forget the bad. Someone I can trust enough to call a friend. Because life's too short to make THAT dumb mistake again. 

failure. mess. washout. wreck.

- Being creative.
- Being smart.
- Making decisions.
- Anything involving boys.
- Being grateful.
- Being a good person.
- Not caring.

Maybe just being me...

All things that I fail at.

December

The month of December is supposed to be all magical and inspiration. It's supposed to be when dreams come true and wishes become reality. I'm not asking for that. I'm not asking for perfection. I only ask that everything be okay. I think things are heading in that direction, and I'm beyond grateful for that. But I'm not going to object if things get even better... I have a lot of plans for this coming month. Right now I'm just praying that they all work. I know I just can't pray and hope for things to happen- I have to meet God half way. Don't worry, that's part of my plans. But I honestly don't think I can do this on my own. I'm going to need a little of that praying, wishing and hoping to be on my side. So instead of writing letters to Santa, I'm calling a higher power, and writing a letter to December. And it goes a little like this: 

Yes. I'm obsessed. As much as I'd like them to NOT remake some songs, this show is still amazing. It, strangely, can teach so many important life lessons. Sure, real life is- in no way- like this, but that doesn't mean you can't relate to it. I'm not sure how, but almost every episode seems to touch me in some way. Yes, I've even gotten emotional. It doesn't always teach us the right thing to do. Sometimes it just shows how doing the wrong thing can affect others. Needless to say I'm learning a lot about life. And I'm loving every second of it. Glee... Thank you :)

Liberation

Sure, I still don't have my own apartment. I'm not without problems. I'm still not doing or working on things that I one day hope to accomplish. I'm still making mistakes that I may regret later. I'm planning things that I don't want to regret. And I sometimes don't think I'm particularly happy. But even through all that, I've never felt so liberated. Honestly, the last week I've felt so free, though not much has changed. Sure I had some little moments: I got my ears pierced. I actually went on a date. But I was feeling this way before all that. I'm trying to refrain from asking myself why. For whatever reason I'm enjoying life- and I don't want to question it. Yeah, it's hard for me not to. It's hard to trust in what I don't know. Hard not to run away. I'm just going to take what I can get, though. I'm going to encourage these feeling for as long as they want to stay with me. I'm not trying to please anyone but myself. This is me, being me :)

Oh. And I may or may not have been wrong about my last post... Oops.

La La-La-La-La La-La-La- Love Life. What's That?

"Heartaches and mistakes. How many hits can a good girl take? I'm tired of hurting, slowly learning."

So, we've all heard of summer flings. Summer lovin'. Love in the summer time. They kind of seem to go hand-in-hand, right? Well, Nicki being Nicki decided to do things opposite like. As in, I only seem to date people in the winter... It's just the way it worked out, I guess. Weird, yes? I sure think so.

But I'd like to predict the future: No winter lovin' for Nicki this year. Too bad. Haha But I think I'm finally starting to get over my loneliness. I shouldn't need other people to make me happy. I'm going to make myself happy.

 New goal: find new ways to be happy. Ways that don't include other's participation. And hopefully with the winter season coming up I wont have time to feel lonely. I'll be so busy doing so much that I love, nothing else will matter. I'll be having the time of my living-life, and not worrying about anyone else. Especially boys. Because they only seem to make me more unhappy...

I don't need a love life. La La-La-La-La La-La-La- Love Life. What's that?? :D

Sarcasm:

WOW! I love it so much when I get passed up like I'm nothing. Ooh! Being a third wheel?? My favorite! I'll probably die if I go an entire day without making a fool of myself or getting embarrassed. Feeling homeless- that another must have! Watching everyone's live progress while I stay in one place is freaking awesome. I love it when I'm all left out and what-not! Getting teased so bad by a near-stranger it leads to tears? Yes, please! Geez, what would I do without all the rude people in this world? Being so outside the "in" circle I feel pretty close to invisible is what I live for. Wanting nothing but that one thing you know you can't have, feels just so... Fantastic.

To everyone who contributed to the anger in this post: Thank you so much!! I just love all that you do for me!!  

Oh Well, Oh Well

I'm tired of being unhappy. I'm tired of being alone. I'm doing everything I can think of to get out of this seemingly never ending slump. But every time I turn a corner, I'm messing up or getting scared (and no, it's not because of Halloween). I think of something and it works, great! I'm so happy... But it slowly fades. Or pops like a balloon. And I can't help but feel like someone's doing it on purpose...

But I'm still hoping for the best. And I'm no longer searching for happiness. I'm going to sit tight and wait for it to find me. No more messing up. No more putting myself in stupid situations. No more letting people pop my balloons. I'm flying up- up and away.  Enough with negativity. I'm looking forward. Back to being an optimist. Again: Oh well, oh well. I'm still hoping for the best...

Things Are Looking Up...

... Oh, Finally! :)

New Philosophy:

Life sucks...

That's right. Everyone is thinking it so I decided to say it (not that I haven't said it plenty of times before..) But in all seriousness... It really does suck. Example: Spending a good portion of your day crying. How hard it is to keep smiling when you're upset. A big problem and little else seems to matter. A bad feeling when you rushed to something because you knew it was your escape, just to find that it brings on more emotional turmoil... Life sucks then you die. Right??

WRONG!

  There's always the good parts of the downs. Example: Never being too old to hug your daddy and just let yourself cry. Because no matter how old you   get... He'll still let you... No matter how upset you are you'll  eventually get over it. Because when it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. And no matter the problem it eventually won't matter anymore. Because it'll work out for the best. And then there's always the joy of finding a new escape. One that's better for you. Sure, life sucks...

...Then it gets better.

Decisions, Decisions

Pretty much I need to make some changes. I need to make a lot of decisions in the next couple weeks. And to be honest... I don't even know where to start. I need to figure out my employment issues, my colorguard issues (including trying out for 2 different groups), and my school issues.

I need to find a new job.
I'm not going to try out for BD anymore.
I'm not going to be spinning.
I'm not going to school until next fall.
Except...
I don't want to find a new job.
I want to try out for BD.
I really want to spin.
And I'd rather go to school in the spring.

I don't know what choice will be best for me or for my future. That makes it kinda hard to make a decision. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things turn out. Maybe this will just work itself out. Maybe my stress and worry is just pointless. As I'm fond of saying: Only time will tell.

UNDERFACE

Underneath my outside face

There's a face that none can see.

A little less smily,

A little less sure,

But a whole lot more like me.

                                                                      

                                                                       -Shel Silverstein

My Search:

I don't think anyone who hasn't looked understands how hard it is to find an apartment. Seriously. It's insane. No one just wants to trust a couple of teenagers to pay rent... No mind that they both (sorta) have two different jobs. Being turned down multiple time is very discouraging. Then we went back to the search. And now I think we may have lucked out! And it's back in a town where we're comfortable. Not to mention so close to the library! :) I love that place. It's the perfect size. And it's... Affordable. I have my fingers crossed. If we don't get this one, I guess it's just... Back to the search...                                                                                                     ...but I REALLY have my fingers crossed.

The Way My Day Goes...

AM I happy?

When I wake up every morning, I ask myself that question. Yes. That's my immediate response. What reason do I have to NOT be happy? None. I'm happy. I have... Truly amazing family and friends. A job that I love.
 And a passion that I won't ever outgrow... At least until I'm 23. I'm happy. It's just... I watch these movies, and I read these books, and I look at other people's lives, and I wonder. But,no. I'm happy. I have a fantastic life. I have great people in it. Why would I have any doubts? I don't. I'm happy. I'm doing so good! Every decision I've made the last year led me to where I am. Do I regret those decisions? No. I'm happy.  I'm growing up. I spend a lot of time alone. thinking. planning. Did anyone tell me that growing up would be lonely? No, I have privacy. I'm happy. I am happy. And then I go to bed every night wondering:
AM I happy?

Remember When??

Remember when I had a lot of free time?


Remember when I wasn't confused about life?


Remember when I KNEW what I wanted?


Remember when I had a billion friends?


Remember when I used to BLOG?!?

...I do... And I miss it...

Still Here...

Just wanted to let ALL of my devoted followers know that I am, in fact, still alive! I just fail at blogging :)

What's New:

Well, I've a new/second job! I am working in the Smith's in Saratoga Springs. Service Deli. I know. Pretty sweet, right? Haha Well, I get paid and it's not fast food! So if you want your sandwich meat freshly cut... Come see me!

I have had no guard for a week, and I'm having withdrawals :/ But on the bright side I have to start writing saber work! Yay, I love saber!

I no longer live with my father :( I moved out and now live in Eagle Mountain with my wonderful sister Mandi. Until September... When she kicks me out! That's when Brian gets back from Afghanistan, and they are going to want some "privacy" hehe.

So concludes Nicki's most recents. Maybe one day I'll finish my 30 Day Challenge thing... :)

Day Fourteen: My Favorite Song

I have many favorite songs- it's impossible to choose just one! :) Changing depending on my mood. For today here are just a few. . .

-Children of Divorce
   by Johnny Craig

-Playing God, The Only Exception, All I Wanted, Ignorance, Misguided Ghosts
    by Paramore

-Miserable at Best, Three Cheers for Five Years, Your Song (Goodnight Moon)
   by Mayday Parade (Go Radio)

-Earthquake, I Love You Always
   by The Used

-Night Terrors, Track Stars Shouldn't Smoke
   by Summer Lasts Forever

-The Garden, Tore My Heart
   by Mirah and Oona

-Hometown Glory, Beautiful Life, Zombie, 9 Crimes, They Weren't There
   by ADEL, Charlotte Martin, The Cranberries, Damian Rice, Missy Higgens

. . . And that's not even the half of it. 

Day Thirteen: My Day

Well my day hasn't really happened yet, but My Day will be my graduation. I'm the fifth out of seven children, and I'll be the first to be able to walk with my class. Everyone in my family is so proud of me; they never let me forget that. But what I think I'm most excited about is that I'm proud of myself. I tend to be really hard on myself and this is something that I can honestly say I feel good about. I know that it's not that big of a deal so some, but I know it's a huge accomplishment and an even bigger mile stone in life. I'm done with high school. I'm working and moving out soon I'll be taking care of myself and going to college. I'm scared to death. . . I can't wait. :)

Day Eleven-Point-Five: Another Favorite Memeory

Because I could not resist I decided to put this other memory because I like to embarrass my friends :)

                 Story Time: 

The group of friends!

One day at a marching band camp all my guard besties and I were eating our lunch. Toward the end of lunch we started talking about our AMAZING tumbling skills. And I say, "You know what, Michelle? Go do a backhand spring. Right now." And she said she would... But me being me I shortly got distracted and next thing I know Michelle is walking back. "Wait. I thought you were going to do a backhand spring?!" She looks at me and goes, "Really, Nicki? I just did. I have to go to the bathroom, then get back out to the field!" GRRR "Well, I didn't see. Go do it again." At this point I think Michelle is getting a little bit annoyed with me because lunch is almost over and we have to start practicing! Plus, we still have to put all our stuff together and go to the bathroom. But, I just keep nagging her until she yells "OKAY!!! Watch though 'cause we have to hurry. God, I have to pee!" So I'm watching attentively, making sure I don't miss a thing...

Me and the Michelle :)

Michelle begins to run, hurtles, does a beautiful roundoff, and... Stops before the rebound into the backhand spring. A look of shock crosses her face. "What?" I say. Looking a little embarrassed (which is a first for Michelle) she says,"I just peed my pants."
Me and all my other besties watching start laughing. Hysterically.
"Like a few drops??" I ask between laughing pants.
"Like almost all of it." She replies, starting to laugh herself.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA We laughed for about another five minutes before we all head off to the field to practice- except Michelle. Who heads off the bathroom to try and wash her pants.

Best guard practice EVER!!! Hahaha

Day Twelve: The Best Friends

Well there is THE best friend:

First and most important is Mandi Rae Davey. She is not only my sister, she's my BEST friend. She never fails to be there for me, and she knows almost immediately if I'm upset about something. I love her so much. I think I'd go insane if I couldn't speak with her about my problems and ask for advice. I can even talk to her about really embarrassing medical things that I'd never speak to anyone else about... EW! Haha I discuss books and movies with her. We share our opinions and have girl days together. I'd die without her. Really.

And then there are many more who are my go-to friends who I laugh with, have fun with, and hang out with and here they are:

Tom Hutchinson a.k.a My Daddy :)
Sabrina Statham
Sam Statham
Oakley Hill
Aubrey Zabriskie
Christian Shupe
Jordyn Rowland
Michelle York (always baby always)

Thanks everyone for being my friends! Love ya and I can't wait to play with you all summer. WHOOT, WHOOT. PARTY!!!

Day Eleven: Favorite Memory

Oh my goodness, I have SO many memories that all go under the category "unforgettable." But out of all these memories, one in particulate stands out:

The correct show, but wrong competition... 

The BYU competition in the American Fork High School Marching Band's 2009 "Greatest Generation" show.

After the bus crash and the death of a very special mentor, teacher, and friend, Heather Christensen.

It was raining all night up to the point when we walked on the field. I know it was a sign. I've never felt so much emotion, felt so compelled to do my best + more than that day. I walked off that field in tears, while experiencing complete happiness. It was amazing to hug all your friends while being comforted by strangers. It's hard to put feelings into words. I'll just never forget it. Not ever.

Day Ten: Something I Miss

Hmmm... Something I miss... I miss a lot of things... 

Me, dancing in the sunshine :)

-I miss being a little girl: Everything in life is so much easier
      when your little, so simple.

-I miss having a social life: It seems like a year ago I was

      doing something every weekend and was never home,

      but not anymore... At least I get a lot done at home! :)

-I miss having friends. Period.

-I miss my cupcake, Oakley: Yes, I sometimes called him 

      cupcake...

-And I really, really, REALLY miss the sun. I miss being tan

      and warm. I miss sunglasses, shorts and tank-tops,

      and swimming. I miss things I associate with 

      summer: Marching band, Parades, Steel Days... I miss 

      camping and always being outdoors...

Please Sun... Come BACK!!!

Day Nine: A Moment...

I've been thinking for the last few days about this post... Hence why I haven't been writing everyday... I've come to the conclusion that I've never had a moment... :( I guess maybe one day I will :) K that's all. I give up on this post.

Day Eight: The Parents

Thomas Smith Hutchinson

- Da Daddy, "Papa" Padre, favorite :)

-Who's home in which I live.

-Master Story Teller.

-Exaggerator... to the max!

-Most family centered man I've ever met.

Ginger Leanne Hutchinson 

-Mommy, "Mama Grams" Mother, MOM! :)

-Has red hair and green eyes.... Very unlike me.

-Very into decorating for holidays.

-Loves old music.

-Gets a new phone number every week!!!

These people are the best! I love them soooo much!

THE PARENTS!!!

Day Seven: Something That Makes Me Cry

Let me just start off by saying that I'm a girl. I happen to cry about a lot of things. But I still wouldn't call myself a cry-baby... Most of the time...

Sometimes it can be a deep and legit reason;

I cry when I'm hurt.
I cry when I go through lonely times... and I miss him so much.
I cry when my friends aren't there for me.

Or sometimes it can be me just being emotional;

Moulin Rouge, Legends of the Fall, The Notebook, Remember me, Up... Cry every time.

My Sad Face :(

I cry when I'm jealous... Only every once in a while...
I cry sometimes for reasons I don't even know.

And sometimes I'm just being dramatic;

I cry when I throw fits... :/
I cry when no one seems to understand me.
I cry when I feel like I'm not enough or that I failed.

Day Six: Best Birthday

K... My best birthday would probably have to be my eighteenth birthday. That was like... two months ago. It was just a small get together of just my family. My sister, Mandi, made these really delicious BLTs on croissants.  YUMMM. Not to mention my red velvet cake that was heavenly! I got some small presents and such. But the best thing I got, that's also the biggest thing, was a shopping trip to the mall compliments of my brother, Jordan. He spoiled me beyond belief! But there ya go! My best birthday :)

Obviously not my real cake.

Day Five: The Bag

Front Pocket:
-Halmark card
-Thumb drive
-Fortune "You will soon be honored by someone you respect."
-A receipt from my school
-Camera memory card
-97 cents

Except mine is green...

Main Pocket:
-Guard gloves
-Pen (2)
-Marker (2)
-Wallet. That weighs 10 lbs... For serious.
-Scrunchie
-Pencil
-Fork... Yes, a fork
-1 penny
-Purple nail polish

Zipper Pocket:
-Lady products (2)
-Plastic butterfly

Day Four: The Siblings

Britnai Kay Hutchinson

-The oldest... That's gotta be hard

-Mother of 4-year-old Nakai Wade Blackburn

-Movie lover/critic 

Mandi Rae Davey

-Wife to Brian Luke Davey

-Mother to Seja Belle (4) and Laila Mae (6ish weeks) Davey

-Master cake maker

-WILL own her own bakery someday

-Kinda like my bestie :)

Jessica Elaine Hutchinson

-Noah Scott Hutchinson is the 5-year-old son

-Always wants a "sack of money"

-My interviewer and dance/acrobatics partner

Jordan Keith Hutchinson

-Kinda the only boy

-Very sweet with his sisters

-Nicknamed "Uncle Dookie" or "Yorin"

-Pretty much my favorite

Sienna Brook Hutchison

-Lover of florescent colors

-Wishes she was Christina Aguilera

-Rarely stops twirling her hair

Korbin Parker Haynie

-"Miiiiiiiister"

-The littlest

-A bit... ADD

-8 years old and on facebook...??

A slideshow with pictures of all my siblings.

Day Three: The Outfit

Story time: For the last few days I haven't been feeling very good. That's why I started my challenge a day late. And so today I've just been wearing sweats. BORING!!! 

My plan: I'll write about what I wanted to wear today... What I'll probably wear tomorrow.

NOT "The Outfit"

-Big, white rimmed sunglasses.
-A plain white, spaghetti-strap undershirt.
-A lavender-ish, purple cardigan.
-Big Star capris. Cuffed. Slightly baggy.
-Sandals that zip up on the back.

This is my wondrous outfit. My Celebrating Spring Outfit :)

Day Two: First Love

Michelle York- "The Mutual Friend"

 Okay... My first love... So, I'm in high school. I'm still young. As far as I can tell, my first love was chocolate or my daddy. I dearly love those two things. However, when someone made up this 30 day challenge, I'm confident that's not what they meant for day two. So, I'll just speak of the next best thing. I met him in computer tech class when I was a sophomore and he was a senior. I then developed THE biggest crush on him. He didn't even know I existed. We had only two, very forgettable, conversations all semester... Not the best way to tell the cutest boy you've ever seen that he's the cutest boy you've ever seen. Then, on the last day of school, (after writing my number down in his yearbook) I found we had a mutual friend (thank you, Michelle York!). Yorkie here told him that she wanted to have a movie day with him and a few other friends- which he agreed to. Of course she invited me, and I was happy to tag along, duh. We watched Up, Angels and Demons, and Star Trek (for the price of one in the theater). It was pretty much a blissful teenage dream- we held

Me and the Oakley

hands and everything! hehe Then we kinda lost touch. We got back in touch a few months later when he was called on a mission. We spoke and hung out quite a few times in the months previous to his mission. But that's not when, I felt, we really bonded. He had to come home for about 5 months after a short time in the mission field, because he... well... He broke his neck. I know. That's when I realized that I really like this kid, and I have no desire to date anyone else. Now that he's back on the mish, we write letters. As much as I can. And I know I'm young, but I'd still call him my first love. Because I do love him. I high school love him. Which basically means, that in this point in my life, that's the most I can care about another person while I'm still trying to figure out my own future... So here's to Elder Oakley Hill :) Love ya!

Day One: About Me

1. The names Nickelett Saige Hutchinson.
2. I'm eighteen years old.
3. I live with my father, Tom.
4. I have four sisters, one brother, and two half brothers (kinda confusing).
5. I also have two nieces and two nephews.
6. I'm brown.
7. I'm really goofy; laughing is my favorite thing to do (minus dancing and color guard).
71/2. I really do love dancing and Color Guard.
8. I'd die without music.
9. I read a book a day.
10. And rain really depresses me (I only say that because it's raining now, and it's depressing me).

Introduction:

So... I usually don't like to copy people, however, I really want my blog to be more entertaining. I've decided to do a 30 Day Challenge- I know, I know. Everyone does these. Well, guess what? I'm going to do one! Starting tomorrow I'll add a new post everyday. Things about me (hopefully with a good dose of humor..)... So, make sure you tune in, log on, and keep yourself posted for all the fantastic things to come!

Story Of Nicki: The Blogger

Once upon a time...

                   

                   In a land far, far away...

                                          There lived a girl named Nicki...

                                                                                     And she had...

BLOGGER'S BLOCK!!!

...The End

New Favorite Song

"...And dream for me anything, but dream it in color about how we know the sun's still rising and we don't care..."

(Thanks, Jordyn!)

The Ending of a Chapter

So... Up until April 2, 2011, I was a member of the most amazing group. Maybe you've heard of it: the American Fork High School Color Guard.I was a member for five years, but now I'm old and I have to graduate. Who does that?? I do, apparently. Even though this is sad for me- the color guard world (and all the girls) have been my family- I sill won't cry because it's over, I'll smile because it happened. There are very few things I would trade for my experiences over these last few years. I just wanted to say THANK YOU to my guard family. You've been there for me to encourage me, lift me when I was down, always making me laugh, and never letting me forget that I was welcome and belonged in that world. And another thank you to EVERYONE ELSE who found ways to allow me to go as far as possible in my career as a "graceful color guard member."

A picture for (almost) every show I did:
(not pictured: 'Calling all Angels'-2007, 'Pulse'-2007, 'Waiting on the World to Change'-2008)

"Pandemonium"- 2010             "Send in the Mimes"- 2010         Parades- Every Summer



"Greatest Generation"- 2009               Band Camp- Every Summer               "The Island"- 2008 

 

"Welcome to the Circus"- 2011                     "Little Creepy World"- 2009

My Last Psych Up:
"Winter guard means spending 15 to 20 hours a week dashing up and down a 50 by 70 foot area spinning a 3.5 pound rifle of a 6-foot flag. It's your free time to strive for perfection and hearing either the criticism or applause of your instructor over and over. Sometimes you march with blisters on your feet, splints on your fingers, when you're sick and when every muscle in your body aches. It means being willing to try it once more even though you have just endured a loss, tears are running down your face, and your heart is breaking. Dedicated members involved in any sport will push through injuries and fatigue, expending every last bit of energy to help their team. It's being everything you want to be in that moment- when you're on the floor. It's our life, it's our love, it's our family, it's us..."

A Duo of Welcomes

On Monday, March 28, 2011 my family and I had two very special welcomes. One being a "Welcome Home" while the other was a "Welcome to This World." Two very different, yet equally exciting experiences. Two (actually, maybe a little more than two) very sweet Kodak moments:

The first one started (for me) at about 2:30 in the morning. I got a call from my mother informing me that my older sister, Mandi was going to have her baby- like NOW!  But it took a litter longer than that. The official start to this Welcome to the World was at 6:08am. Weighing in at 6 lbs. 13 oz. and 19 inches long, came little Miss  Laila Mae Davey. She's so sweet. Such a perfect little baby. I am the Godmother- or Crazy Aunt Nicki- but, I prefer Godmother :) That's her on the right!!

Second, we had our Welcome Home for "My Hero" Brian Davey. He came home for two weeks from his tour in Afghanistan to be with his new baby. Brian got home around 7 o'clock ish (? I don't really remember the time). On the same day, narrowly missing the birth of his new baby :( But we got Video :) On the left is a picture of him and Seja at the hospital visiting Mandi and Laila. AWWWWWWWWW precious!!

My Mission Statement

For my internship I'm reading a book called The 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Teen. And in this book it says that you need to make a mission statement to keep all your goals and values in the front of your mind, so you don't forget them. I decided to make mine into a wordle and shorten all the things I need to remember to one word. This is what I came up with:

The word that are on here include:

READ... read everything, so i'll know everything

EDUCATION... keep going in school and always strive to learn more

MISTAKES... remember them, learn from them, never repeat them

LIVE... live life to the fullest

LOVE... everyone and with all my heart

WORK... work hard, alexander's "all great thing worth having, require great sacrifices worth giving"

REMEMBER... everything, everyone, every experience

LISTEN... to what people have to say, and to my heart

FAMILY... always be there for them and love them unconditionally

CONFIDENCE... "you are only as great as you think you are"

GOALS... set them, stick with them

DANCE.... like no one is watching

HONESTY... the honest way is the only way

RESPECT... give it, show it, demand it

and DR. SEUSS...see the world as he did

My Newest Obsession

You know that ridiculous question: If you could meet ANYONE in history, who would it be?? Have you ever given an honest answer? NO! You know why? Because you're always trying to impress someone or be someone your not. If you're talking to someone religious, you would say Christ, Adam, or Moroni. If you're talking to someone political you'll always mention Washington, Lincoln, or Kennedy. If you're talking to a history-buff you would want to say something about Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, or King Henry the VIII. Or maybe you're just trying to sound smart and think of someone that no one else would think of. In that case, you go with Bram Stoker, Constantine, or Claude Nicollier. Me, personally, I always just try to think of the oldest person possible. I mean, How cool would it be to sit down and talk with Cleopatra about what the world was like then? But then I realized, my answer is so much more simple than that. I don't have to go back thousands and thousands and thousands of years to find someone interesting to talk to. I just have to go back a few decades. And WHO would I want to sit down and have a chat with? Hands down a man named Theodore "Zoice" Geisel. Also Known As... Dr. Seuss. (his middle name is Seuss, I just spelled it the way it's sounds so you know how to say it)

Yes, my most recent obsession is a children's book author. However, lately I've been doing research about him (just for fun) and come to find out... His books aren't all just laughs. They're intense. He actually wrote about important things, things that matter. His books are about senseless war, not cutting down trees, a power-hungry dictator, being grateful for what you've got, and how everyone is special. (The Butter-Battle Book, The Lorax, Yertle the Turtle, Did I Ever Tell You How Special You Are?, and Oh! The Places You'll Go) I've learned that he talked how his books are. People would often ask him where he got his ideas, and since he didn't know himself, he tended to invent answers. He said once in an interview: "This is the most asked question of any successful author. Most authors will not disclose their source for fear that other, less successful authors will chisel in on their territory. However, I am wiling to take that chance. I get all my ideas from Switzerland, near the Forka Pass. There is a little town called Glitch, and two thousand feet above Gletch there is a smaller hamlet called Uber Gletch. I go there on the fourth of August every summer to get my cuckoo clock repaired. While the cuckoo is in the hospital, I wander around and talk to the people in the streets. They are a very strange people, and I get my ideas from them." After reading not even a fraction of what this guy wrote of even what was written about him, I can tell he has- BY FAR- the most incredible imagination. He wrote his first children's book the same year he and his first wife, Helen, discovered that she was unable to have children. SO... Being Dr. Seuss, he made up children. Chrysanthemum- Pearl was their imaginary daughter. He even dedicated books to her. So, who in history would I meet? No doubt, Dr. Seuss would be a great feat. Who in history would YOU meet? With a parting message from The Man himself:

** If you want to learn more visit  www.seussvill.com (the official Dr. Seuss website- it's amazing!)

My Hero:

This man here is Brian Luke Davey. He's a father , a brother, a husband, a son, an Army guy and a friend. I'm so glad he made the decision to fall in love with my Sister, Mandi, and ask her to marry him. Brian is absolutely fantastic with his little girl, my niece, Seja Belle. I can't wait to see how well he's going to do with the new baby that's on the way (another girl due very soon!). I've never seen a more happy and well-rounded family. As you can tell in these pictures to your left, they're an absolutely adorable family and he is so loved by his girls! Brian is a great father, always teaching Seja and trying to get her to understand. He's very patient... Most of the time (Hey, Brian, remember that time you were trying to put the book shelf together?)... But very patient :) He's always trying to laugh and tell jokes, or (a lot of the time) do what my sister wants- even if it's small and silly. 

[STORY TIME- an actual  memory of my favorite couple in the world: Mandi and I are Chick-Flick lovers. One time after watching a very dramatic fight scene between a couple, Mandi says, in a dreamy voice, " I want someone to kiss me in a desperate attempt to stop a fight." Just then Brian comes downstairs to the movie room, and I laugh and inform him, " Brian, your wife wants you to kiss her in a desperate attempt to stop a fight." He gets a serious face on and starts mock telling off Mandi, and before she could respond or even understand what was happening, he grabbed her face and kissed her... As I rolled on the ground laughing hysterically. Mandi just looks at him and says, "It has to be an actual fight, honey." Brian just shrugs and mutters, "I tried."] Haha Brian is most family oriented. He loves his family so much and he's always there for them. He's also very involved, interested and, sometimes, concerned about what's going on in our country. Not to mention... TWINS FAN!

Brian's an Army man through-and-through. Even though he's a democrat (very uncommon in Utah), he's still really open to others point of view and their plans. Mr. Army, as I call him, is very Army-Strong, and everyone else is weak-sauce. I mean, he practically invented the "Man Card" :) However, he knows when to be serious and when it's okay to have fun. Like in these pictures on the left- I mean I'm not sure if the one on the bottom right is staged or not... What do you think? ;) SSG Brian Davey is currently serving a year tour in Afghanistan. I can't comprehend how brave he is- how brave my sister and my niece are. Not only is he risking his life for his country, but he's missing a year of his young daughters life and his wife's entire pregnancy of their second baby (don't fret: Mandi and I are documenting EVERYTHING). At the end of this month he'll get two whole weeks to come home and be here for his new baby girl! Then he has to leave again to finish is tour. Oh my dearest Brian. I miss you. And (in case you didn't know) you're my favorite brother-in-law... What I mean by that is: All of Mandi's other boyfriends were nowhere near as awesome as you are! :) I love you. Take care of yourself out there, and I can't wait to see you! Be a good boy :)

Freaking OUT

So... Once upon a time... I accidentally deleted my blog!! Gahhhhh... I know. So, after crying for a half hour (I know! But I'm emotional this week...) I decided to try to duplicate it. Therefore, this may be boring because it's not going to be very different. Hopefully, it'll be almost the same. But I don't care, I liked my old blog!!! Not that very many people read my blog anyways, right...? Just so my adoring public knows... I'm a annoyed and freakin out. That's all. I'll be happy in a few hours.