Like Horses in the City...

I used to think that insecurity was the worst feeling ever. I was wrong. Would you like to know the REAL worst feeling ever?? It's when you feel unwanted. Invisible. Like you don't matter. Like you don't belong. I don't know what it is, I just feel out of place. Even when I just had a (comparably) good day with everyone that SHOULD matter. Meaning my family. But, I'm never going to fit in, huh? I'm never going to be good enough or rebellious enough. I'm always going to be the odd one out. The one with all the issues. The one that constantly gets passed up. I don't even understand why. Why is it so hard to be happy? You wouldn't think you need a whole lot. You wouldn't think that it'd be too hard. But it is...

I want to. How great would it be to just start over? Go where no one knows your name or your story. Some place where you can be whoever you want. But I somehow know that that won't solve any problems... It's just running away temporally. I think I just need to know that I matter. That I'm someone to somebody. That I'm not just a waste of air. I'll eventually find my place. I think I just need to stop being a dramatic girl for one! Then I need to learn to be a little more patient. It'll come... It will... It will.